May 5, 2025

by Dr. Rachael Berg-Martinez

The music industry is often romanticized and painted in vibrant strokes—creativity, glamour, passion, and fame. But behind the curtain, there is a deeper, often unspoken reality: A world of long hours, instability, emotional strain, creative pressure, and significant mental health challenges. While headlines tend to spotlight the struggles of well-known artists, many of the same—and often more intense—pressures are faced by the vast number of people who make the music industry function behind the scenes.

As mental health becomes a more accepted and important topic globally, it’s crucial to include all music professionals in the conversation—from the stars on stage to the sound techs, tour managers, studio engineers, roadies, and independent artists building a career gig by gig.

The Hidden Toll of a Creative Life

For both performers and behind-the-scenes workers, the music industry often demands relentless hustle. It’s an environment defined by uncertainty, inconsistent income, late nights, and expectations to always be “on.” The pressure to succeed—and the lack of safety nets if you don’t—can create a climate of chronic stress and emotional exhaustion.

Session musicians may juggle unpredictable work, racing from gig to gig with no health insurance or job security. Sound engineers might spend hours in dark venues or studios, isolated from natural light, routine, and community. Managers and booking agents are often responsible for the livelihoods of others, taking on high-stakes decisions while their own needs are sidelined. Touring crews and technicians deal with physical fatigue, time away from family, and little recognition for their work. The emotional toll can be immense.

And for independent or early-career artists, the stakes are even higher. Many invest significant time, energy, and money chasing an unstable dream with few mental health supports in place if things start to fall apart.

Substance Use and Normalized Burnout

The music world has long glamorized hard living—late nights, drugs, alcohol, and “the grind.” But what often looks like a lifestyle choice is actually a desperate attempt to cope. The expectation to push through, produce, or perform—regardless of mental health—creates a culture where exhaustion is worn like a badge of honor and seeking help is seen as weakness.

Burnout is not just for headliners. Lighting technicians, vocal coaches, and studio producers alike report symptoms of anxiety, depression, and sleep disorders. With few clear pathways for rest or mental healthcare, many end up turning to substance use or overwork as a way to survive.

The Social Media Effect and Financial Insecurity

While social media has allowed greater connection and visibility for all creatives, it also fosters comparison, imposter syndrome, and constant pressure to market oneself. This is especially true for freelance and independent workers who rely on personal branding and online presence to land jobs.

Add to that the instability of freelance life, lack of benefits, and inconsistent pay—and it's easy to see how even those passionate about their craft can end up feeling undervalued and overwhelmed.

The Healing Power of Music

Amid all these challenges, it's important to remember that music itself holds powerful benefits for mental health. Research from the Vanderbilt Music Cognition Lab highlights how music affects the brain and behavior in profound ways. Engaging with music—whether through listening, playing, or composing—can enhance emotional regulation, improve mood, reduce stress, and support cognitive function. Music therapy is also increasingly used in clinical settings to help individuals process trauma, build resilience, and foster social connection.

Neuroscience has shown that music activates multiple areas of the brain, including those involved in memory, movement, and emotion. For many people, music provides a way to express what words cannot, offering comfort, catharsis, and connection. These scientifically backed benefits reinforce why protecting the mental health of music creators is not just ethical—it's essential for sustaining the very art form that brings healing to so many. 

A Culture Beginning to Shift

Thankfully, the industry is slowly evolving. More musicians—both famous and not—are opening up about mental health, creating a ripple effect across the creative world. Initiatives like Backline, Help Musicians UK, Tour Support, The SIMS Foundation, and Sound Mind Live are starting to address mental health needs across roles in the music ecosystem.

Festivals and venues are beginning to offer on-site counseling services. Some managers and labels are incorporating wellness planning into tour logistics. Peer support networks are forming within music communities, creating spaces for honest conversation and mutual care.

Building a Healthier Industry for All

Mental health support in the music world must extend beyond crisis response or celebrity advocacy. Systemic change means recognizing the needs of everyone involved in the creative process. Here’s how the industry can do better:

• Mental health benefits and access should be a standard part of employment for artists, staff, and contractors—not a luxury.

• Normalize mental wellness conversations in rehearsal spaces, studios, and on the road—not just in interviews.

• Train managers, tour leads, and studio heads to identify signs of burnout and direct people to appropriate resources.

• Offer mentorship and community spaces where independent professionals can find guidance and emotional support.

• Push back against toxic hustle culture that glamorizes overwork and emotional suppression.

Conclusion: The People Behind the Music Matter

Whether you're a lead singer or a lighting tech, a session bassist or a merch designer, your mental health matters. Music is a powerful tool for connection and healing, but the people who create it need—and deserve—that same healing, too.

We can’t keep romanticizing suffering as the price of creativity. A more compassionate, sustainable music industry is not only possible—it’s essential. And it starts by seeing, hearing, and supporting everyone behind the music.

If you’re looking for help, Backline is an amazing resource to connect you to someone who understands your unique challenges. Or feel free to reach out to Safe Haven Psychology Center today. 

May 5, 2025

by Dr. Rachael Berg-Martinez

You might notice patterns in your family—anxiety, emotional disconnection, or persistent feelings of shame or fear—and wonder: Where did this come from? The answer might lie in something called intergenerational trauma, a phenomenon where the pain of the past echoes through generations, not just through behaviors and beliefs, but potentially even in our genes.

At Safe Haven Psychology Center in Orange County, CA, we help individuals and families explore and heal these deep-rooted wounds. Understanding the science behind intergenerational trauma can be the first step in breaking the cycle.

What Is Intergenerational Trauma?

Intergenerational trauma, also called transgenerational trauma, refers to the psychological and physiological effects of trauma that are passed down from one generation to the next. This kind of trauma can result from events such as:

• Abuse or neglect

• Addiction or untreated mental illness in the family

• Systemic oppression or racial trauma

• War or displacement

• Loss of a child, a parent during childhood, or other important loved one

• Immigration or forced migration

You don’t need to have directly experienced a traumatic event to feel its effects. In families with unprocessed trauma, certain patterns—like emotional shutdown, chronic stress, or hypervigilance—can silently transfer across generations.

The Science: Can Trauma Change Our Genes?

Emerging research in epigenetics shows that trauma doesn’t just change how we feel—it can change how our genes function.

While trauma doesn't alter the DNA sequence itself, it can cause epigenetic changes—biological mechanisms that “turn on or off” certain genes. For example, high levels of stress or fear can increase the expression of genes linked to anxiety or reduce the activity of genes that regulate resilience and mood.

These epigenetic markers can be passed to offspring, meaning a child might inherit a heightened stress response from a parent who lived through war, abuse, or loss—even if the child was raised in a safe environment.

One notable study on Holocaust survivors and their children found measurable changes in stress hormone regulation, suggesting a biological imprint of trauma passed from parent to child.

How Does Intergenerational Trauma Show Up in Everyday Life?

Symptoms of inherited trauma can be subtle or overwhelming. They may include:

• Chronic anxiety or hypervigilance

• Difficulty forming or trusting relationships

• Guilt or shame that feels unexplainable

• Emotional numbness

• People-pleasing or conflict avoidance

• Panic attacks or dissociation

• Feeling stuck, even when life is “fine”

• Struggling to relax, be present, and feel connected to others

In therapy, we often hear clients say, “I don’t know why I feel this way—nothing that bad ever happened to me.” Exploring your family history can reveal answers, offering both insight and compassion.

How Trauma Therapy Can Help You Heal

Breaking intergenerational patterns starts with awareness and support. At Safe Haven Psychology Center, we use trauma-informed and attachment-based approaches—including EMDR, inner child work, and psychodynamic therapy—to gently uncover and process inherited pain.

Healing intergenerational trauma often includes:

• Naming and validating the unspoken stories in your family

• Processing your own experiences with a trained trauma therapist

• Rewiring nervous system responses rooted in the past

• Creating new ways of relating to yourself and others

• Gaining freedom from patterns you didn’t choose

Trauma Therapy in Orange County, CA

If you're seeking trauma therapy in Orange County, Safe Haven Psychology Center offers a compassionate and expert space to explore your story. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, relationship issues, or a deep sense of emotional disconnection, you don’t have to carry it alone.

You are not broken. You’re carrying pieces of your family’s past—and you have the power to heal.

Interested in starting therapy for intergenerational trauma?

We’re here to help. Contact Safe Haven Psychology Center today to schedule a consultation with a trauma-informed therapist in Orange County, CA in person and serving California and Michigan via telehealth.

April 24, 2025

by Dr. Rachael Berg-Martinez

We all carry with us the echoes of our childhood experiences—some joyful, others painful. These early years shape the way we see ourselves, the world, and our relationships. Yet, many of us grow up without fully understanding the profound impact that our childhood wounds can have on our emotional and psychological well-being.

The concept of inner child healing has gained widespread attention as an important and transformative practice in therapy. But what does it really mean to heal your inner child, and why is it so essential for lasting emotional well-being? In this blog, we'll explore what inner child healing is, why it’s necessary, and how it can help you break free from patterns that have been holding you back.

What Is Inner Child Healing?

Your “inner child” refers to the part of you that holds the emotional experiences, memories, and unmet needs from your childhood. This inner child can represent both your joyful, playful side and the wounded parts of you that were hurt or neglected during your formative years. Inner child healing is the process of connecting with, understanding, and nurturing this younger version of yourself in order to heal emotional wounds that may have been carried into adulthood.

These wounds can manifest in many ways: 

• Feelings of unworthiness

• Difficulty trusting others or being hyper-independent 

• Chronic anxiety or depression

• Patterns of self-sabotage, especially in relationships

Healing your inner child involves acknowledging these wounds, comforting the part of you that was hurt, and offering yourself the love and care you may not have received as a child.

Why Is Inner Child Healing Important?

The wounds we carry from childhood—whether caused by trauma, neglect, abandonment, or unmet needs—can profoundly influence our behaviors and emotional responses as adults. When these wounds are left unaddressed, they often become ingrained in our subconscious, influencing how we interact with the world, the way we relate to others, and even our own self-worth.

Here are a few reasons why inner child healing is crucial:

1. Unresolved Childhood Wounds Affect Your Adult Life
   
   The emotional wounds of childhood don’t just disappear as you grow older. They can manifest in your adult life as patterns of anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and difficulty in relationships. By healing your inner child, you can address these unresolved wounds, allowing you to break free from old patterns that no longer serve you.

2. Healing Leads to Healthier Relationships
   
   When we haven’t healed our inner child, we can unknowingly bring unhealthy emotional baggage into our adult relationships. This may result in struggles with trust, codependency, or emotional withdrawal. Inner child healing helps you understand and address these issues, leading to healthier, more authentic relationships with partners, family, and friends.

3. Promotes Emotional Freedom
   
   Healing your inner child means letting go of old emotional pain and negative self-beliefs that have been carried forward. This can lead to a deeper sense of emotional freedom, allowing you to live more fully in the present moment without being weighed down by the past.

4. Empowerment and Self-Compassion
   
   When you start to heal your inner child, you begin to re-parent yourself with kindness, compassion, and self-love. This empowers you to take control of your life and embrace who you truly are—beyond the wounds of the past. Inner child healing helps foster a nurturing relationship with yourself, allowing you to feel more empowered, self-confident, and emotionally resilient.

How to Begin the Process of Inner Child Healing

Healing your inner child is a process that takes time, but it’s an incredibly rewarding journey. Here are some practical steps to help you begin the healing process:

1. Acknowledge the Wounds
   
   The first step is to acknowledge the pain you experienced as a child. This might involve reflecting on past experiences, understanding how they’ve shaped your adult life, and identifying areas where you still carry emotional scars.

2. Connect with Your Inner Child
   
   One of the most effective ways to heal your inner child is by connecting with them through visualization or journaling. Imagine yourself as a child, and allow yourself to feel the emotions that surface. Ask your inner child what they need and how you can comfort them.

3. Offer Compassion and Love
   
   As you connect with your inner child, offer them the love, care, and compassion they may not have received in the past. Speak kindly to them, reassure them, and provide the emotional support that may have been missing during your formative years.

4. Seek Professional Support
   
   If your childhood wounds are deeply ingrained, working with a therapist who specializes in inner child healing or trauma therapy can provide invaluable support. A therapist can guide you through the process, helping you process and heal from past trauma while developing healthier emotional patterns.

5. Practice Self-Care
   
   Nurturing your inner child also means practicing self-care in your daily life. Engage in activities that bring you joy, rest when you need it, and create a life that supports your emotional well-being.

The Benefits of Inner Child Healing

The benefits of healing your inner child are profound and long-lasting. As you heal, you can expect to experience:

• Improved emotional health: Feel more at ease with your emotions and less overwhelmed by negative feelings.

• Healthier relationships: Connect with others in a more authentic and loving way.

• Greater self-love and self-acceptance: Embrace your true self, imperfections and all.

• Emotional resilience: Build a stronger foundation for facing life’s challenges.

• Freedom from past trauma: Break free from the patterns of pain and suffering caused by unresolved childhood wounds.

• Regained play and creativity: Reconnect with your sense of spontaneous playfulness, humor, and creativity.

Start Your Inner Child Healing Journey Today

Healing your inner child is an essential step toward emotional freedom, self-empowerment, and healthier relationships. Whether you’re dealing with past trauma, emotional pain, or simply want to develop a deeper connection with yourself, inner child healing can help you release old wounds and embrace the joy and peace you deserve.

If you’re ready to begin this transformative journey, seeking the help of a trauma therapist or therapist specializing in inner child work can provide the support and guidance needed for lasting change.

Ready to start healing your inner child? Contact me today to learn how inner child therapy can help you release past wounds and build a brighter future full of emotional freedom, joy, and self-love.

April 18, 2025

by Dr. Rachael Berg-Martinez

If you’re navigating anxiety, relationship challenges, burnout, or a sense that something deeper is holding you back, you’re not alone. Many high-achieving, self-aware individuals reach a point where insight isn't enough—they're ready for deeper, lasting change. That’s where Shadow Work comes in.

At Safe Haven Psychology Center in Orange County, we specialize in trauma-informed, attachment-based therapy for those who are ready to reclaim the parts of themselves they've had to hide or disconnect from. The parts that were once "too much" for someone when they were growing up—but are now calling for healing and integration.

What Is the Shadow Self?

The Shadow Self refers to the parts of you that have been pushed out of awareness over time—often for survival. These may include:

• Unacknowledged fears

• Repressed emotions like anger, grief, or shame

• Old wounds from childhood or past relationships

• Unexpressed desires, disowned impulses, or creativity

• Protective patterns like perfectionism, people-pleasing, or emotional withdrawal

You didn’t create these patterns on purpose. Often, they were shaped by early relational experiences—especially when emotions felt overwhelming (for you as a child or for your caregivers) and you weren’t met with safety or attunement. You may have received messages that these parts of yourself were "not enough," "too much," or "wrong." 

Over time, you may have learned to disconnect from certain parts of yourself to maintain connection with others. You protected yourself the best way you knew how: By splitting off those parts and walling off painful or taboo aspects of yourself.

But disconnection has a cost.

You might now feel fragmented, emotionally exhausted, stuck behind a mask, or repeating cycles you don’t fully understand.

Integration: A Deeper Kind of Healing

Healing the Shadow Self isn’t about getting rid of your past or “fixing” yourself. It’s about becoming more whole. At Safe Haven Psychology Center, we help clients move from defensive dissociation (protecting yourself by cutting off certain parts) to adaptive integration (embodying your full self with resilience and compassion). Dr. Martha Stark from Harvard University explores this concept in her writings.

In this process, you’ll begin to:

• Understand and unlearn old protective strategies

• Reconnect with your emotions, boundaries, and intuition

• Develop a more compassionate relationship with your inner child

• Heal attachment wounds in the context of a safe, attuned therapeutic relationship

• Rediscover your creative , playful, and spontaneous sides

This kind of work takes time, intention, and support—but it can profoundly shift how you experience yourself, your relationships, and your life.

The Shadow and the Inner Child

Often, the Shadow carries echoes of our younger selves—parts of us that weren’t seen, soothed, or celebrated. These “exiled” parts still carry the emotions and unmet needs of the child we once were. And in adulthood, they still show up: in our relationships, our triggers, our perfectionism, our shame.

When we approach the Shadow with the same empathy we would offer a hurting child, something powerful happens. The inner system begins to shift. What was once defensively dissociated becomes adaptively integrated. We no longer need to fight with ourselves—we can listen, tend to, and respond. 

Therapy for Adults in Orange County in-Person, in CA and MI via telehealth

Our practice is uniquely suited to adults who are ready to invest in deep, integrative therapy. We offer private pay services, allowing us to provide a high level of personalized care without the limitations of insurance-driven models. We also partner with Mentaya to help you access your out-of-network benefits: The best of both worlds!

Whether you’re a professional, a parent, a creative, or someone simply craving a more authentic connection with yourself, we offer a calm, compassionate space to do this meaningful work.

Begin Your Journey Toward Wholeness

At Safe Haven Psychology Center, we believe that therapy is not about becoming someone else—it’s about becoming more fully yourself. And that includes making space for the parts of you that were once hidden, hurt, or exiled.

If you’re in Orange County, California, or Michigan and looking for a therapist who specializes in trauma, attachment, and emotional integration, we’re here to walk with you.

Reach out today to schedule a consultation and begin your journey toward a more embodied, empowered life.

March 31, 2025

by Dr. Rachael Berg-Martinez

Trauma is an emotional response to distressing experiences that overwhelm a person’s sense of safety. While stress is a natural part of life, when it experienced without the supports needed to make sense of it and get back to a sense of safety and calm, its effects can be profound—especially when experienced in childhood, when developing brains and nervous systems are particularly sensitive to stress.

Many parents wonder: Did I do something wrong if my child has experienced trauma? The truth is, childhood trauma can result from many sources beyond a parent’s control, including accidents, loss, medical experiences, bullying, neglect, or exposure to violence. If you’re reading this, it’s clear that your child’s well-being is your priority—blame has no place in healing. Instead, focusing on support, connection, and professional guidance can make all the difference.

Types of Childhood Trauma

Children respond to trauma in different ways, and the impact of these experiences depends on how they affect their sense of safety and stability. Trauma can generally be categorized into:

• • • Acute Trauma – A single overwhelming event, such as an accident or natural disaster.

    • Complex Trauma – Ongoing experiences where a child feels trapped in unsafe situations or repeatedly exposure to distressing events, such as prolonged neglect or bullying. Complex trauma can also emerge when a child is chronically misattuned to, that is, where their caregivers seem to miss their cues for connection consistently.

    • Neglect - Neglect has a profound impact on a child's developing brain and has lifelong impact. When a child's basic needs for shelter, food, safety, and connection are not met, they can struggle to trust, have a hard time understanding their feelings, needs, and behaviors, and repeat patterns through self-neglect. This is true even when their basic physical needs are met but their emotional and relational needs are ignored. 

    • Traumatic Grief – Significant and often sudden loss of a person on whom the child depends for care or loss through a traumatic event.

    • Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) – Potentially traumatic events and limitations to important sources of support (such as through parental substance use, divorce, or violence) that affect a child’s development and stress response system. This also includes experiences of foster care or separation from first parents.
      
      

Trauma-Related Conditions in Children and Adults

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

PTSD can develop when a child experiences ongoing distress after a traumatic event. Symptoms may include:

• Sleep difficulties

• Avoidance of people or places linked to the trauma

• Hypervigilance (always being on alert for danger)

• Emotional outbursts including anger, fear, crying, or withdrawal

• Reliving the event through nightmares or flashbacks
  
  

Because PTSD symptoms can sometimes resemble ADHD (such as difficulty concentrating or restlessness), a thorough evaluation by a trauma-informed professional is essential.

Developmental Trauma Disorder (DTD)

DTD, though not a formally recognized distinct disorder in the DSM-5-TR, occurs when trauma disrupts a child’s emotional and neurological development. Symptoms vary based on the child’s age and may include:

• Emotional dysregulation and outbursts

• Chronic mistrust of others

• Self-harming behaviors

• Aggression toward others

• Dissociation (feeling disconnected from reality, other people, or themselves)

• Difficulty forming healthy relationships
  
  

How to Support a Child Who Has Experienced Trauma

The most important thing you can do for a child who has experienced trauma is to provide a safe, consistent, and supportive environment. Trauma-sensitive parenting, co-regulation, and a strong attachment to a trusted caregiver are key.

If your child is struggling with trauma-related distress, trauma-informed therapy can help. At Safe Haven Psychology Center, we specialize in supporting children, parents, and families through compassionate, attachment-based, and trauma-informed therapy. Our approach integrates brain-based, body-based, and family-based interventions to help children process and heal from their experiences.

If you’re looking for guidance on how to support your child through trauma, we’re here to help. Contact us today to learn more about our trauma-informed therapy services.

March 15, 2025

by Dr. Rachael Berg-Martinez

Choosing a therapist is an important decision, especially when seeking support for trauma and attachment wounds. The right therapist can provide a safe space for healing and help you build healthier relationships, including with yourself. Here are key factors to consider when selecting a therapist for trauma and attachment work:

1. Look for Specialized Training and Experience

Trauma and attachment issues require specialized knowledge. Seek therapists trained in evidence-based approaches such as:

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) for processing traumatic memories.

• Attachment-Based Therapy to address relational wounds.

• Relational Psychodynamic Therapy to explore the here-and-now relationship experiences in therapy.

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) or Parts Work to explore inner conflict and trauma responses and heal childhood wounds.

• Somatic Therapy to help regulate the nervous system and process trauma stored in the body.

2. Prioritize a Safe and Compassionate Environment

Since trauma work requires vulnerability, it’s crucial to find a therapist who creates a warm, non-judgmental environment. Pay attention to how they communicate during your initial contact. Do they show empathy and patience? Do you feel safe and heard?

3. Assess Their Understanding of Attachment Theory

Attachment-focused therapists understand how early relationship patterns shape adult relationships. They should be knowledgeable about anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles and how these impact relational dynamics.

4. Consider Their Therapeutic Approach

Different therapists use various approaches. Some may focus on cognitive techniques, while others emphasize emotional processing, relational enactments (how old relationship experiences and patterns show up today), or body-based strategies. Ask potential therapists about their approach and how they tailor it to trauma and attachment healing. Focusing on your felt sense in the relationship will be important. If a therapist uses a purely cognitive or behavioral approach, this might not be the right fit for attachment and trauma healing. 

5. Ask About Practical Considerations

Logistics matter too. Consider the following:

• Session length and frequency. Research shows that attending weekly particularly in the beginning of therapy is important to making changes. You may consider attending more frequently if you find vulnerability very difficult. 

• In-person vs. telehealth options. Consider which might allow you to better open up, attend consistently, and experience connection. 

• Cost and insurance coverage. At Safe Haven, we partner with Mentaya to help you access your out-of-network benefits. Therapy is an investment worth making. 

• Their experience working with clients of your background or identity

6. Seek a Therapist Who Embraces Relational Repair

Because attachment wounds often play out in the therapeutic relationship itself, finding a therapist skilled in navigating relationship dynamics and providing corrective emotional experiences is crucial. A good therapist will respond to conflict or miscommunication with curiosity and compassion rather than defensiveness.

7. Trust Your Instincts

Therapy is deeply personal. Trust your gut feeling about whether a therapist feels like a good fit. Feeling safe, respected, and understood is essential for healing attachment wounds and processing trauma. At Safe Haven, we offer a free 15 minute consult to help you start to get a feel for fit. Schedule yours now! 

Finding the Right Fit for You

Choosing a therapist is an investment in your well-being. Taking the time to find someone who aligns with your needs can make all the difference. At Safe Haven Psychology Center, we specialize in trauma and attachment healing, creating a safe and nurturing space for growth. Contact us today to learn how we can support you on your path to healing.

If you’re ready to explore the deeper layers of your emotional life and relationships in a safe and non-judgemental space, we invite you to reach out. Let’s work together toward healing and transformation. Contact Safe Haven Psychology Center today or schedule your free consultation.

by Dr. Rachael Berg-Martinez

February 21, 2025

Understanding Attachment Trauma

Attachment trauma occurs when early relationships with caregivers are inconsistent, neglectful, or harmful. This can occur because a caregiver is frightening or frightened, such as in the case of abuse or domestic violence in the home. This can also occur when all of a child's physical needs are met but their parents are emotionally unavailable. These early experiences shape how we connect with others throughout life. When a child’s emotional or physical needs are unmet, they may develop insecure attachment patterns that persist into adulthood, impacting romantic relationships, friendships, and even professional connections.

How Childhood Neglect Shapes Attachment Styles

Childhood neglect—whether emotional or physical—can disrupt a child's ability to form secure relationships. Children who have experienced disruptions in their relationships with their primary caregivers may develop one of the following insecure attachment styles:

• Anxious Attachment: Constant fear of abandonment, seeking reassurance, and difficulty trusting a partner’s commitment.

• Avoidant Attachment: Emotional detachment, discomfort with intimacy, and a strong need for independence.

• Disorganized Attachment: A mix of anxious and avoidant tendencies, often linked to trauma or abusive caregiving, often accompanied by experiences of dissociation.

These attachment styles often continue into adulthood, influencing how individuals navigate emotional closeness and conflict resolution.

The Impact of Attachment Trauma on Adult Relationships

1. Difficulty Trusting Others

Those with attachment trauma may struggle to trust or securely rely on others, fearing betrayal, overwhelm, or abandonment. This can lead to either excessive dependence on a partner or emotional withdrawal.

2. Fear of Intimacy

Avoidant individuals often push others away to protect themselves from perceived rejection. They may appear highly independent but struggle with emotional vulnerability. They may use anger to keep others at a distance to protect themselves. 

3. People-Pleasing or Over-Accommodation

Anxiously attached individuals may go to great lengths to keep others happy, sometimes at the cost of their own needs and well-being. This can breed resentment or leave them feeling used.

4. Emotional Highs and Lows

When a child faces a world with bombs exploding all around, they instinctively cling to their parent, even when the parent is the bomb. This impossible conflict creates a sense of disorganization around relationships where there is no real solution. Both closeness and distance can feel threatening. Disorganized attachment can lead to unpredictable relationship patterns, cycling between closeness and withdrawal due to conflicting desires for connection and self-protection. 

5. Repeating Unhealthy Relationship Patterns

Many individuals unconsciously seek out familiar relationship dynamics, even if they are unhealthy, because they mirror early attachment experiences, even when they are consciously dedicated to not repeating those patterns. 

Healing Attachment Trauma Through Therapy

Healing is possible with self-awareness and the right support. With successful therapy, we know that the person's early childhood experiences will play out on the stage of the therapy. This isn't something to be feared. This "enactment" is opportunity for a new outcome. Therapy can help individuals:

• Recognize their attachment patterns and how they affect relationships.

• Develop healthier coping strategies and emotional regulation skills.

• Learn how to build secure, fulfilling relationships.

Attachment-based and relational psychodynamic therapy, EMDR, and inner child work are all effective approaches for addressing attachment wounds and childhood neglect. Because the problem is rooted in early relational experiences (or the lack of those needed experiences), healing must also take place in relationship. 

Finding Support

If attachment trauma or neglect is affecting your relationships, professional therapy can help you build healthier connections and feel more secure in your relationships. At Safe Haven Psychology Center, we specialize in trauma and attachment healing. Contact us today to learn how we can support you on your journey to emotional well-being. Together, we can get to the roots of your relationship struggles to help you grow. 

Schedule a free consultation today!